I love America because of...
--Peanut Butter. Such a novelty here in Europe.
--Root Beer.
--The Bigwigs. From Ben Franklin to Abe Lincoln, our heritage has the names to envy
--The Constitution. George Washington is my homeboy.
--S'mores. I've spotted marshmallows once, American flags splattered all over the package. Forget ever finding Hersheys or graham crackers.
--Real Toilets. Who'd have know a toilet would be a luxury? Austrian toilets surprise you. No water till you flush. Then a strange gush of water swirls around.
--Rodeo Hamburgers. No, McDonald's is not up to par.
--People use deodorant. Word of advice: avoid standing too close to anyone on the subway. You could smash into them with any abrupt stop.
There's just a taste of my American loves. I could go on forever but I'll spare you from boredom. My fourth of Juli went something like this.
Dinner at Schweizerhaus:
A description in words can not do this place justice. If it's helps you visualize, I'll say that the full name is Schweizerhaus Biegarten. Yes, sound it out. Beer garden. Don't worry, I didn't have quite that much fun on the 4th. Here is what we ate.
Stelze. Minus the drink. I had Almdudler, apple juice with a carbonated kick to it.
Party at the Prater:
Never will I ever forget the day I spent at the Prater. Actually, I only spend a few hours there but it left a lasting impression. The Prater is basically the Famous Preston Rodeo Carnival on steroids. And it's always there. I'm a bit of a Carni at heart, I wanted to go on every ride. It's pricey though, each ride is paid for individually. Let's just say these rides are American hand-me-downs. I imagine when a ride fails the American safety inspection test, they ship if off to the Vienna Prater on the black market. I went on two rides, bumper cars and a waterslide/tube ride like Rattlesnake Rapids. More than this and I'm not sure I would've come out in one piece.
1. Bumper cars. You know how bumper cars were old news by junior high due to the incredibly sluggish pace you go around at? This things flew at speeds I hadn't thought possible for a bumper car. It was Demolition Derby bumper car style. I spent a good deal of the ride slightly airborne, as each time I got hit, I would bounce up out of my seat. It was a wild time. I even have a black battle bruise to prove it.
2. Tube Ride. This looked like a short version of Rattlesnake Rapids or the Grizzly Bear River Run at Disneyland. As I said once before, looks can be deceiving. Very deceiving. The lax safety started when everyone sat in the tube/cart and one girl got left behind. As we were pulling away the man told her to just jump on. We came to a what looked to be a makeshift forklift and were lifted up a million feet. If I'd have stood up, I would have probably lost my balance and fallen splat on the concrete below. After that, we began our descent. What looked like a tube ride down a lazy river waterslide turned into something completely different. It was the Disneyland teacups the entire way down. I had to hold on to the middle wheel for my life. By some miracle, or centrifugal force, I stayed in. I never was a physics wiz so don't judge me if that's the wrong force; I could never keep those terms straight. Either way doesn't change the fact that the tube kept spinning faster, faster, and faster. First time in 22 years that I've felt like I might lose bits of my stomach on a ride. At last, we got off woozy but in one piece. I lost my voice from screaming in terror, confusion, nervousness, excitement- I'm not sure which is was.
To top of the 4th of course we got ice cream. Zanoni and Zanoni. My mouth literally just started watering. All I did was type the words. So all in all, it was a fantastic fourth. And memorable too. But next year, I think I'll go back to being a homebody.
PS- I sang Neil Diamond on the subway. The 4th wouldn't be complete without him.
That theme park sounds EPIC! I love the accounts of these adventures. Zanoni zanoni.
ReplyDelete(Also, if you care, centriPETAL pulls you in, like the smell of a flower, and centriFUGAL pushes you out, like a fugly person.)
I very nearly started this post off with some physics for you, but, remembering our time together doing your HW, I think we should just stick with gravity and acceleration. J/k, you were not that bad :)
ReplyDeleteI'm glad you sang Neil D. I listened to "America" several times and it made me proud to be American, that's for sure!
You know an awful lot of Dr. Seuss for someone who did not know how to spell it. I quite liked the poem, he was a wise wise Dr.
I'm glad you took American Heritage, it has certainly changed your life. I cannot wait until you can come home and quote some more of the "Constitution", "When in the course of human events it becomes necessary..."
I'm glad TJ left off designing his swivel chairs to write that :)
I will eat a rodeo hamburger for you and tell you all about it, it really is better than any McD's. I'll go ahead and enjoy some Magnum bars until I can make it over there to try the Zanoni Zanoni things.
I quite agree about the toilet thing, there is just something disconcerting about taking water saving to that extreme of a measure.
The Beer Garden looks cool, I wish you would post a pic of you tearing into that hunk of meat with your hands. I also like the pic of the Traditionally attired peeps on the Apple Juice-looks like drinking that is every bit as fun as drinking Dos Equis XX Special Lager (supposedly makes you the most interesting man in the world)
So the tube slide looks fantastic, kind of puts the log ride to shame (yes, O was quite surprised when we waited for in line for an hour for that brief drop) and the bumper cars sound completely unregulated, scarier than the ring of fire for sure! Mom said she definitely wants to go to Prater and wants to know if she should wear her swimsuit for the tube ride so let her know.
Ich Folge Ihnen!
ps: in your absence your Vati has become quite wild-I'll send you a pic of his new bike uniform as soon as I can catch him in it!
pps: I'm surprised you did not mention your favorite American Thing!!!
ReplyDeleteNutter Butters that is
ReplyDeleteYou will never guess what was different on the 4th here in Utah. The state legislature changed the law to permit all kinds of fireworks to be used by regular people. Consequently we didn't really need to wait to watch the city fireworks -- we had real fireworks right in Krista and Larry's front yard. It was fun.
ReplyDeleteThe bumper cars sound fun and the tube ride sounds absolutely crazy. I think that I would have been very nervous. I totally agree with you. It is so fun to travel and see different cultures but I have always felt happy the moment the plane lands in the U.S.
ReplyDeletep.s. The new fireworks laws seem kind of crazy but it is pretty cool to see tons of huge fireworks!
Wow, you went to a beer garden. Remember that beer garden we saw when we went to that performance at Rose Wagner's? The name just says it all. I do hope you get one of those little traditional Austrian costumes. So handy for Halloween. The fourth is just way too fun in America; how sad that it is just any old day in the rest of the world. The theme park sounds terrifying! I cannot imagine how you survived as you are such a nervous Nelly.
ReplyDeleteIt sounds as if you are just having a fantastic time. Make a list of all the things that we absolutely must see. Can't wait for our trip!
P.S. Oh, for sure let me know if I need my suit for the tube ride. That would just make my trip.
ReplyDeleteAs Betsy noted, I am glad you got Neil Diamond in on the Fourth of July. You are right, it just wouldn't be the same without him. We listened to Coming to American all the way down to see the fireworks. Zoe was dancing in her car seat, she loved it so much! The amusement park sounds fun although I am glad you went home in one piece. Your list of things to love about America was right on (although I hadn't thought of adding smores to the list before). We will think of you when we are eating smores on rodeo weekend (after we have our rodeo hamburgers).
ReplyDeleteMerlin's beard. So many responses. You really took my comment thing to heart.
ReplyDeleteI wish I could've seen Zoe dancing, I'm sure that was crazy. I've been missing das Kinder (the children). That is crazy about the fireworks, of course it happens the only year I miss out.
Mutter- I can take you to the Beer garden and Prater if you want, though you won't need a swim suit. Unless you just want to wear it for fun.
B- Yes I love Nutter Butters. Almost more than meat loaf. I also missed playing the wild All American Home Town Band
S- Thanks for the mini physics lesson. Must have been the centripetal force, in that case.
Lauren -- I am waiting for more posts and stories! It is my entertainment to read about your adventures!
ReplyDeleteOh, I really missed playing the All American Home Town Band. It's just not as fun when you don't crazily run around the piano bench to switch parts. Perhaps that can be our next Christmas talent!
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteYes, the US is great, especially with peanut butter so easy to find (oh how I missed my Jiff while I was in Brazil). But as you've stumbled upon, one thing I don't miss about the US when abroad is its safety regulations. It's kind of nice being in foreign countries where the safety regulations aren't written for the lowest common denominator of society. As a person who is naturally cautious, but still enjoys some adventure, I find it quite refreshing to be in a country that trusts me to use my own good sense regarding what is safe and what is not.
ReplyDelete