Monday and Tuesday I went to Heaven, also known as Hallstatt. This is the kind of place where you walk around and feel like you're in a movie. You stare at the landscape and seriously question whether or not it's just a backdrop on the set. I felt a bit like Jim Carrey in The Truman Show. I had the urge to take a boat across the lake to make sure I was gazing at real, tangible mountains, not just massive cardboard scenery. Though I missed out on the princes, talking animals, and magic mirrors, my time in Fairy Tale Land was well spent.
Beinhaus
Behind the Hallstatt church (yes a million stairs lead up to it and several different stairways) is a cemetery and a bone house. You'd never guess what's inside. 1,200 skulls all painted and decorated with flowers and leaves. And naturlich, death dates. Apparently, after cremation was permitted in the Catholic church, everyone decided to keep the skulls of loved ones and line the house with them. Ja, naturlich, there's something endearing about gazing at your grandmum's skull. In fact, I was so moved, I quickly formulated specific wishes to add to my last will and testament. After lollygagging on a unicycle in Body Worlds for a bit, I wish to have my skull painted fluorescent pink with flowers and placed in the Hallstatt Beinhaus. Also, I'd prefer glow in the dark paint. I'll be just like the Dem Bones dancers in Thriller, but the real thing. How's that for creativity Mr. Yeager?? (I must admit, ever seen I saw him as Alex Hamilton in A More Perfect Union, I've felt a sort of kinship between us). I can see it now- a glowing pink skull floating around. But honestly, the bone house was fascinating. The latest skull was from 1995. Her golden tooth is still quite visible.
On Dienstag, we were off to the mines. I felt like I was in a reenactment of Indian Jones Temple of Doom. I wandered through dank, musty corridors, the drip drip of water falling from the ceiling, deeper and deeper into the dark abyss of earth. I felt especially theatrical, not to mention timorous, when I started hearing eerie, raspy whispers. "Salz, salz, salz" repeatedly. Apparently, this is supposed to be the voice of the man they found preserved in salt. These mines are the oldest salt mines in the world. Hallstatt has had mining in its history for 7,000 years! In one cavern, we watched a quite unique and strange light show. Neon stick figures running around the walls to ominous music till one gets smashed by falling squares. They really took the man in salt thing and ran with it. They say, in 1734, a corpse was found preserved in salt. He was supposedly from the prehistoric times. The best part of the mine was the "64 meters of sliding fun." If that phrase doesn't make the tourists come flocking, I don't know what does. The two slides in the mine are fantastic and rather speedy. Before starting the tour, you have to put on a little miner's outfit with a leather bum. Leather bums are the best material for wooden slides. Who knew?
I didn't get a picture of me zooming down the slide so you'll have to make do with the website photo. Just envision my face instead.
Last but not least, WASSER.
1. 2 speed motor boat ride. Never have I ever been on something so slow in my life. But, being able to drive it made it all worth it.
2. Polar Plunge. Yes, I did feel like a polar bear when I plunged into the lake. I couldn't very well leave Hallstatt without going swimming. I think my blood, veins, and all other body organs momentarily froze on impact.
I loved the pictures of this quaint little town. What a beautiful place. Hmm. Your glowing pink skull sounds a little creepy, but odyssey dance may want to incorporate your ideas in Thriller. The mine sounds fascinating--especially the miner's outfit. Did you feel claustrophobic down there? I could almost see your teeth chattering in the swimming picture. That may be something I won't be doing. Can't wait for our Viennese adventure!
ReplyDeleteI totally pictured the dancing on Corpse Bride when you first described the glow in the dark skulls. I'm still laughing over the THOUGHT of you and your little bean skull! Morbid and hilarious! We miss you.
ReplyDeleteI'm going to put your skull in my living room, on top of the TV, if you die before me. I'm not sure you can be in Dem Bones because handling of bones needs to be done in a sanitary manner.
ReplyDeleteHallstatt looks incredible, and, it turns, out, was just as Heavenly as you claimed!
Don't tell Mom she missed the church, she'll be so depressed. She loves bones and such.
The Salt Mine smelled just like Disneyland! I loved it and the haunted voice that floated in my ear most of the tour. The slides were a definite high point! I can picture your face coming down the slide (now that I have seen it in real life) and I think Mom should put a slide in her backyard, complete with leather bumalls.
The boat ride looks fun and I'm glad you got in the lake. Where did you stay, by the way?
PS: I have never seen A more perfect Union but I did like the guy who plays Alex Ham. in John Adams. Is Mr Yeager the man in Girls just want to have fun?